A Jam Packed Year
by DarkReeper
Summary: Harry and the gang are headed off to their first year at Hogwarts. Sirius Black is on the loose,there are two defense professors, a security officer and there are what? TWO DARK LORDS! Will Harry make it through this school year alive?


This is a combination of Harry's first, second, third, and fifth year. Enjoy

If you do not like this story, no one is forcing you to read. Please don't waste my or your time leaving a review that says how much you don't like this story or about grammar and punctuation errors. I'm doing my best until I find a beta reader. You know what I do if I see a grammar or punctuation error? I keep reading. Also, if and when I don't like a story, I simply click a back arrow and look for another one.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, he would have received therapy for his habit of being a tool and horrible treatment he received from the Dursleys.

/whisper/

/back up singers/

**Chapter One- Heading to Hogwarts**

Harry Potter walked through Kings Cross Station with a confused on his face. Hagrid, the man who had taken him shopping for his school supplies had vanished before he could tell him where the platform was. He had been walking for about two hours now and it was starting to get old. He looked around and found a railroad assistant.

"Excuse me, sir!" Harry yelled as he ran over to the man pushing his trolley.

"Yes, what is it boy?" The railroad assistant asked the strange kid who had an overloaded trolley and an owl perched on top.

"Do you know where I can find platform nine and Three Quarters?" Harry asked.

There is no such thing as platform nine and Three Quarters. Ever September 1 it's the same thing. People asking for a platform that doesn't exist thinking they can pull one over on me! Now, I'll not have any more games! Platform Nine and Three Quarters does not exist." The man replied.

Harry reached inside his oversized pants and pulled out a letter. "But sir, I received a letter from an owl. A very large man even took me shopping for school supplies yesterday! Look! Sir!

The man turned and walked away muttering, "It's the same thing every year. Little buggers always try to pull one over on me."

Harry threw his hands up in the air in frustration. He pulled his trunk out from underneath the trolley and sat down. He looked at the letter again and huffed. "Hogwarts must be a joke. The Dursleys must have come up with it to get rid of me." Harry thought to himself.

"Come on kids hurry up now! A loud voice yelled.

Harry looked up and saw the largest group of red heads he'd ever seen rushing toward a brick wall between platforms Nine and Ten.

"Alright now, Percy you're the third oldest so you go first. Fred and George, you next….NO PUT DOWN THAT MUGGLE TOILET! Ron…Ron…. FRED WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?" The loud woman yelled.

"Which one?" One of the twin redheads replied.

"Oh don't you get smart with me mister! Now where is your brother Ron?" The angry mother asked.

"Mummy, he's right there!" A little voice said.

"Where? Oh Ronnie. The now calm redhead said sadly. Its platform nine and Three Quarters, not eight and Three Quarters." She said as she helped he youngest son up. Ron had run head first into the brick wall and they were attracting a lot of attention.

Upon hearing platform nine and Three Quarters, Harry jumped up and ran over to the concerned mother hen.

"Excuse me ma'am, but did you say platform nine and Three Quarters? I was dropped off by a big man who told me to call him Hagrid, but he left before he could tell me where the platform was." Harry said.

"Oh why yes dear, it's right between that brick wall over there." The red haired mother replied.

"What?" Harry asked confused.

"Oh dear, you must be muggle born. Well you stick with Ronnie, my youngest son. It's his first year too." The red haired mother said as she pushed Harry over to Ron.

"Alright Weasleys the train leaves in ten minutes! Let's get going!" The loud red haired mother yelled.

One by one, redheads entered the brick wall, either by running or simply walking.

"Yes. I'm almost free of that woman!" The redhead, Ron exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, she's such a pig nose." Harry said.

Ron turned to Harry. "Ha, ha, ha. Buddy, that's pretty good. I was going to say she's was such a snake butt, but yours was better. My name is Ron Weasley by the way. So are you ready to go through the wall?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded and grabbed his trolley.

"On three?" Harry asked.

"Yeah." Ron replied.

"One. Two. THREE!"

And with that, the two young boys ran head first to the brick wall that hid platform nine and Three Quarters.

"That's a thick wall." Ron muttered as they re-appeared in front of a train.

"Tell me about it. Oh I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Harry Potter." Harry said, shaking Ron's hand.

"Did someone say Harry Potter?" A voice asked.

"Uh, yeah, I'm Harry Potter." Harry said.

"Hello Mr. Potter, my name is Rita Skeeter; I work for the Daily Prophet. How does it feel to be back in the Wizarding World? Are you frightened? Scared? Where were you for ten years? Is it true that you were raised by muggles? Are you afraid that Death Eaters will take their anger out on you since you ended their lord's rein of terror? Are you excited about going to Hogwarts? Do you remember your parents? Do remember what happened when You-Know-Who attacked your home? What do you think about the break out of mass murder Sirius Black? Do you fear for your life? Do you think Hogwarts is safe?" Rita asked quickly.

"I don't understand. Why are you treating me like I'm some…some celebrity?" Harry asked confused.

"You are! Ron said happily. You are Harry freaking Potter, famous boy wizard."

"I still don't understand." Harry said.

Ron sighed and yelled, "Lights!"

The lights deemed and a spot light was placed on Harry and Ron.

"Long ago, this guy came and murdered your family, tried to murder you, but suffered a critical failure. /CRITICAL FAILURE! / He tried to perform the killing curse on you, but something happened that stopped him. So now you're famous!" Ron finished.

The train whistled loudly and several owls that were perched on it flew away.

The platform lightened as Harry and Ron grabbed their trunks and walked over to the train. Ron was grabbed by his mother who was placing wet red lipstick kisses all over his face. Ron broke away from his mother and ran to the train and jumped on as it began to move away.

"I'M FREE, FINALLY FREE!" Ron yelled.

Harry motioned for Ron to follow him and led the way to a compartment. The only person who is in the compartment was a sleeping man who had a newspaper covering his face.

"Who is that?" Ron asked.

"I don't know. Maybe he's a hobo." Harry said with a shrug.

The man on the chair shifted slightly.

After the two new friends sat down across from the hobo, Ron decided to break the ice.

"So, where have you been for the last ten years?" Ron asked.

"Oh I lived with my Aunt, Uncle, and their whale of a son." Harry answered.

"What's your room like?" Ron asked.

"Oh it's a cupboard under some stairs." Harry said.

"Awesome!" Ron said happily.

"So, do you have any pets?" Ron asked.

"I just got an owl yesterday. Her name is Hedwig. Do you have any pets?" Harry asked.

Ron reached into his pocket and pulled out a balding, disgusting, sickly looking rat.

"Ahhhh! A rat! Kill it!" Harry yelled.

"No, no. It's my pet." Ron said quickly.

"Oh. Harry replied. What's its name?"

"His name is Scabbers. He's been in my family for about ten years. Odd, your family, the only people who probably ever cared about you was murdered ten years ago too!" Ron said.

"Weird." Harry said.

The compartment door opened and a girl with brown hair so bushy, it just screamed electoral accident walked in.

"Hi, my name is Hermione Granger. Have any of you seen a cat?" Hermione asked.

"No." The two boys replied.

"Oh my leaping lizards your Harry Potter!" Hermione screamed.

"Yeah, I am." Harry said with a cocky smile.

"Will you sign my copy of "The Greatest Wizard of the Decade: Harry Potter?"

"Um…" Harry stammered.

"NO! He doesn't want to." Ron yelled. He reached forward and snatched the book out of Hermione's, opened the window, and threw it out.

"Hey! That was my book!" Hermione screamed.

"Hey! I don't care!" Ron said.

The compartment door slid open again that a woman with a cart full of sweets, treats, and drinks asked in a brittle voice, "anything off the trolley?"

"Candy is bad for your teeth." Hermione said.

"Buzz kill, go annoy someone else!" Ron yelled as he sat back with his arms full of candy.

"No one wants me in their compartment, they say I'm annoying." Hermione said sadly.

"Ever think they were telling the truth?" Ron muttered.

The next few hours were spent with Hermione trying to get Harry and Ron to play something that was mind stimulating, and being ignored. Suddenly at six in the evening, the train stopped abruptly. The hobo who was lying on the seat opposite of the kids fell onto the floor, a bottle of beer rolled out of his hand.

"Come on hobo, its time to wake up!" Ron said as he poked the hobo with his wand.

The hobo stood up and stretched.

"I'm not a hobo and who drank my beer?" The man asked.

"No one drank your beer sir." Hermione said.

"Hmm, oh your kids! Oh yeah, Dumbledore asked me to teach Defense against the Dark Arts this year." The man mumbled to himself.

"Well kids, I'm the new Defense Professor. You can call me Professor Lupin." Professor Lupin said.

"Oh I understand now. You said that Professor Dumbledore hired you to teach _this_ year, so you came here early and feel asleep on the train! You're not a hobo after all!" Harry said happy that he figured it out.

"Yeah, I got here early and I am certainly **NOT **a hobo! Ha ha ha." The Professor laughed nervously, hoping Harry didn't find out he was a hobo.

"Well kids, its time for you to head up to the school with the rest of the first years." Professor Lupin said as he and the three students left the train.

"Now just follow Hagrid here and I'll see you up at the school. Professor Lupin said. Oh, Harry, could I have a word?

Professor Lupin put his arm around Harry and walked slowly over toward the boats. "You know Harry; I was one of your father's best friends. He would be proud of you. If you want to talk, just stop by my office. Now go and join your classmates on the journey across the pitch black lake, without any lights to guide your way. Oh and don't stick you hand in the water, it's full of magical deadly animals." Professor Lupin said as he pushed Harry into a boat with Ron and Hermione.

Before they knew it, they were at the front doors of the school. At the front door stood an angry looking woman.

"Hello, my name is Professor McGonagall and I will be your Transfiguration teacher. Welcome to Hogwarts. There are four houses at Hogwarts. Each house, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff will be like your family. I will be back for you shortly, try not to kill each other." With that, Professor McGonagall turned and walked away.

"You must be Harry Potter, the famous boy wizard. A young voice drawled. My name is Draco Malfoy. I am a future want to-be-death eater, I hate half-bloods, muggles and mud bloods, and I hate everything that my father hates. Do you want to be friends?" Draco asked as he stuck out his hand.

"Get out of my face Malfoy." Harry said.

"I didn't want to be your friend anyway scar face. I was merely trying to save you the embarrassment of making friends with the wrong sort. Like that ginger and his furby doll.

"That is enough Mr. Malfoy. Professor McGonagall said suddenly. Follow me now."

The group of first years followed Professor McGonagall into the Great Hall and up to a three legged stool with an old hat onto. The hat opened its mouth and sung a funky tune.

As you may know,

There are four houses at Hogwarts.

What you may not know

Is that these houses are labels that will follow you for the rest of your extended wizard life.

Ravenclaw is for the nerds

Gryffindor is for the reckless and tools (cough Harry Potter)

Slytherin is for the ambitious tools (cough Severus Snape)

And Hufflepuff is for the sheep

So come forward so I can label you for life!

Hannah Abbott: Hmm... SHEEP! I will place you in Hufflepuff

Lavender Brown: Sweet Merlin's rainbow thong! The only thoughts in your head are about make-up, magazines, and boys. You're a brave air headed tool! Ugh Intelligence, I need intelligence….better be Gryffindor.

Vincent Crabbe.: Slytherin please forgive me. I see no intelligence. Can you even read? Better be SLYTHERIN!

Gregory Goyle: Sigh, Slytherin forgive me. I sense no intelligence, cunning, or anything for that matter. Better be SLYTHERIN!

Hermione Granger: You pride yourself with knowledge, but in reality you know nothing. Oh you are intelligent, but your intelligence starts at the beginning of a book and ends there. You don't think for yourself, oh but you might one day, but that's not today! Adults are not always right. You are a brave tool. Better be GRYFFINDOR!

Draco Malfoy: Ugh, there isn't a cunning bone in your body. If there is ever a problem, you run to daddy. I apologize for this Slytherin. Better be…SLYTHERIN!

Harry Potter: Your life has been manipulated. I sense some intelligence. You are being made into a tool. Good luck! Better be GRYFFINDOR!

Ronald Weasley: Gryffindor's flaming quidditch balls! The only thing you ever think about is food! Better be GRYFFINDOR!

That concludes our sorting.

As the last student sat down, a man who sat in a throne like chair stood up and approached a podium. He had a long white beard that put St. Nicholas' to shame and was wearing orange flip flops, tan shorts, a peace symbol from the 70's and 80's necklace, a mood ring, and a rainbow colored t-shirt. As soon as he reached the podium, a bright light centered on him, and angles sung.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. Now that you have been sorted into one of the feuding houses that will probably kill someone by the end of the school year, I'd like to go over a couple of rules. I am Professor Dumbledore. Your time at Hogwarts will be fun because this year because we have two new Defense against the Dark Arts teachers! Professor Quirrellemort who is wearing the beautiful turban and Professor Lupin! Also this year, we will have a former security officer from Azkaban prison come here to protect you little cuties from Sirius Black. Her name is Deloris Umbridge and she will join us later. Now, this year, I want you all to avoid the third floor corridor, forbidden forest, and the death tree. That is all, now onto the feast!

About two hours later, when all of the students were fed and full, the bewitched ceiling that reflected the sky lit up in a horrible flash of lightening. At the podium in the Great Hall, a woman in hot pink shoes and a pink dress appeared. All of the students screamed. It is unknown if they screamed in fear of the lightening or the woman in pink.

"Good evening children. My name is Miss. Umbridge. I am here to protect you from the murderer Sirius Black. Now, I know that you have probably heard horrible stories about how I am mean, unreasonable, and quick to anger; but those are just stories. All I ask is that you obey my rules. I like to call my rules **Umbridge Rules**. Umbridge rule number one: No running, screaming, or playing. Umbridge rule number two: We will practice abstinence. Umbridge rule number three: obey all future rules. Okay, that wasn't so hard was it? I'll see you around school!" With a crack of lightening, Miss. Umbridge was gone.

"Well, off to bed because you have class in the morning!" Professor Dumbledore said happily.

oOOOooOOOOooooOOOOOo

**A/N:** Thank you for reading!


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